This is seriously a third post in a row today??!!
Damn...
~[-.-]~
I want to know what it would feel like to be murdered... Saying this on the internet, it'll probably happen... And I would really be OK with it all... Truth is, who cares what adults say?, I have nothing to live for... What, I want to be a scientist because they become obsessed with their job in the kind I'd like to be, and it'd be perfect for me because I know my future has stored for me SOLITUDE. Did I seriously have to think all of these years that I could have FUCKING found someone at a young age like those couples from the early 1900's who these days are now "together for 80+ years," and he could be THE ONE?? I am so fucking DESPERATE!! God damn-it! I cannot stand myself!!!! If I had different parents... Why did I have to have some abuser as a dad, and some annoying as FUCK mom who reminds me of it every day??! And... Why did I come back? It is no secret, I was dead for hours when I was born fourteen years ago. I came back. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING???!!!! Look, I tell people things on the internet because I think they will frigging HELP. But fuck it all!! Okay!? My dad was in the marine core, Inwas born in a Naval hospital, my brother got arrested when I was ten years old, in UT, with my sister and I in the car, on New Years morning (round 12-2AM) when he was just trying to take us back from our dad's mom's to our grandma's, and I wanted to kill those officers, but I didn't..., I'm practising being Buddhist because no other religion but "none" I can freely say I believe in past lives, I dreamed of being a famous opera singer starting since I could talk, even though SM and Autism and the modern world ended up breaking that dream, I hate people feeling bad for me, but you know, I am really fucking done with everyone...
I should have just stayed alone. I should have stopped at my obsession with Poptropica and...oh just NEVER FRICKING JOINED THAT FORUM!!!!!
And no one fricken say "it's gonna get better, girl." BECAUSE NEWS FLASH IT IS NOT.
But uess what? No one who even reads this will say that, because all my views are either ME, or SOME KID WHO DOES NOT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THEY THINK I AM A PSYCHO LIER AND THEY ARE like FIVE, or they just gave a view from some VAMPIRE PAGE VIEW SITE that I have no fucking idea what it is!!, so obviously none of these people will comment!
And plus, it is only ALMOST FIVE a.m. here, so... UUUGGGGHHH!!!!!!
I'm just going to shut down all my blogs, and make some new one where no one will know me? NO!!! Horrible idea. Because FYI TO MYSELF someone always finds out somehow and ruins it!!!
Oh? You hate me now? GOOD FOR YOUR FUCKING SELF!! Notice how I did not call you a "bitch" til just now suggesting I did not? Well that is because even though I am begging for death to come rolling along and rape me, I actually will be nice with my last breathes of air in this life.
See, I have not committed suicide yet because apparently you will have to have a whole new life after that, or a gazillion more!, and I'm a freaking COWARD and am scared of modern society and the future, etc.!!! And... I couldn't stand that.
I DO KNOW what I am talking about, and although NO ONE WILL COMMENT, I hope you fucking enjoyed this post and its BULLSHIT.
No, I do not understand what you mean by "sorry your parents are divorced... that must be so hard for you..." or "I feel so bad... it was probably hard for your family having your father go out to fight for our country freedom..." AND YEAH! THIS IS PERSONAL!!!
I never said anything about this, unlike my mom and sister, until I started using the internet... But it's MY TURN to put the household in danger.
I don't know what I want anymore. Not anyone who is going through what I am, anymore... Not anyone who is a soul mate, cos he must be the bloody devil if that person exists...
AND GO ON, CALL ME CRAZY AND PUT ME AS AN IN-PATIENT LIKE YOU SAID, MOM!!! You're the one who wanted to marry and have children with a guy with anger problems!!
All of us will kill each other in the end.
Tell me something I DON'T know.
It's not a secret anymore•
Damn...
~[-.-]~
I want to know what it would feel like to be murdered... Saying this on the internet, it'll probably happen... And I would really be OK with it all... Truth is, who cares what adults say?, I have nothing to live for... What, I want to be a scientist because they become obsessed with their job in the kind I'd like to be, and it'd be perfect for me because I know my future has stored for me SOLITUDE. Did I seriously have to think all of these years that I could have FUCKING found someone at a young age like those couples from the early 1900's who these days are now "together for 80+ years," and he could be THE ONE?? I am so fucking DESPERATE!! God damn-it! I cannot stand myself!!!! If I had different parents... Why did I have to have some abuser as a dad, and some annoying as FUCK mom who reminds me of it every day??! And... Why did I come back? It is no secret, I was dead for hours when I was born fourteen years ago. I came back. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING???!!!! Look, I tell people things on the internet because I think they will frigging HELP. But fuck it all!! Okay!? My dad was in the marine core, Inwas born in a Naval hospital, my brother got arrested when I was ten years old, in UT, with my sister and I in the car, on New Years morning (round 12-2AM) when he was just trying to take us back from our dad's mom's to our grandma's, and I wanted to kill those officers, but I didn't..., I'm practising being Buddhist because no other religion but "none" I can freely say I believe in past lives, I dreamed of being a famous opera singer starting since I could talk, even though SM and Autism and the modern world ended up breaking that dream, I hate people feeling bad for me, but you know, I am really fucking done with everyone...
I should have just stayed alone. I should have stopped at my obsession with Poptropica and...oh just NEVER FRICKING JOINED THAT FORUM!!!!!
And no one fricken say "it's gonna get better, girl." BECAUSE NEWS FLASH IT IS NOT.
But uess what? No one who even reads this will say that, because all my views are either ME, or SOME KID WHO DOES NOT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THEY THINK I AM A PSYCHO LIER AND THEY ARE like FIVE, or they just gave a view from some VAMPIRE PAGE VIEW SITE that I have no fucking idea what it is!!, so obviously none of these people will comment!
And plus, it is only ALMOST FIVE a.m. here, so... UUUGGGGHHH!!!!!!
I'm just going to shut down all my blogs, and make some new one where no one will know me? NO!!! Horrible idea. Because FYI TO MYSELF someone always finds out somehow and ruins it!!!
Oh? You hate me now? GOOD FOR YOUR FUCKING SELF!! Notice how I did not call you a "bitch" til just now suggesting I did not? Well that is because even though I am begging for death to come rolling along and rape me, I actually will be nice with my last breathes of air in this life.
See, I have not committed suicide yet because apparently you will have to have a whole new life after that, or a gazillion more!, and I'm a freaking COWARD and am scared of modern society and the future, etc.!!! And... I couldn't stand that.
I DO KNOW what I am talking about, and although NO ONE WILL COMMENT, I hope you fucking enjoyed this post and its BULLSHIT.
No, I do not understand what you mean by "sorry your parents are divorced... that must be so hard for you..." or "I feel so bad... it was probably hard for your family having your father go out to fight for our country freedom..." AND YEAH! THIS IS PERSONAL!!!
I never said anything about this, unlike my mom and sister, until I started using the internet... But it's MY TURN to put the household in danger.
I don't know what I want anymore. Not anyone who is going through what I am, anymore... Not anyone who is a soul mate, cos he must be the bloody devil if that person exists...
AND GO ON, CALL ME CRAZY AND PUT ME AS AN IN-PATIENT LIKE YOU SAID, MOM!!! You're the one who wanted to marry and have children with a guy with anger problems!!
All of us will kill each other in the end.
Tell me something I DON'T know.
It's not a secret anymore•
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O_O Woah, woah, woah... Do you have a side, also? (._. ?) ...Gosh, what are you waiting for? xD ...Please tell! (^o^~)